Pregnancy Update: Third trimester!

Can you believe it?! I can’t believe we are just three more months away from meeting this little guy. I think I’ll really miss being pregnant. I love carrying baby around and sharing my everyday life with him.

For the next three months, I am REALLY committing to putting my health first. Just two months ago, we celebrated the new year and brought in 2019. I had one resolution: putting my health first. Admittedly, I have not — I’m finding it difficult to dial it down at work.

I know I need to put down work, but it’s hard letting go of pride and my brand. For so much of my life, I’ve taken a lot of pride in being the “get it done” girl, the one who moves mountains and achieves herculean tasks. I recently gave a speech at Berkeley recently about my career journey — how I had three internships in one semester, how I landed at a top investment bank after college, how I was consistently top-ranked in my analyst class, how I was one of the first-ever early promotions at J.P. Morgan, and how I ended up as the Head of Financial Planning at a public company with less than a year of FP&A experience. After the speech, students came up to me and told me how inspiring I was, and I couldn’t help but feel smug at my impressive self. Not surprising to people who know my enneagram type is 3 (the Achiever), my work and my accomplishments have been a huge part of my life and my identity. To let things go or to let things pass without my perfectionist stamp of approval feels so unnatural and counter-intuitive, but it’s necessary for me and for baby. Being a workaholic is my default state (I get it from my dad), but I need to take a step back, to pause, and to move forward with mindful and deliberate actions.

Mindfulness requires commitment and takes practice. When I told my sister that I wanted to name this blog “grateful mindful mommy,” her response was “you don’t want to be grateful and mindful all the time.” Very true. The point of this blog, however, was never to project a perfectly grateful and mindful life. The point was to have an anchor to bring me back and to remind me to be grateful and mindful. So I put this intention out there: to let go of ego and pride, to be mindful of triggers that pull me into the work spiral, and to be mindful of my health.

Third trimester - we’re coming for ya. I feel strong and supported. I feel confident that I can handle these next three months. I feel humbled to be the mother and carrier of a human life. I feel excited to meet this little guy. I feel surrounded by love - from the inside out.