Jet Joseph Ni - Birth Story

Jet Joseph Ni. Born 5-6-19, 6.0 lbs, 19.5 inches.

After almost 70 hours of a very difficult and complication-ridden induced labor (over 50 of which I managed without pain medication), I ended up with an emergency c-section and we thankfully welcomed a beautiful baby boy. I’m writing this all down as a reminder of the love and endurance it took to bring him into this world, and as a reminder of the gratitude in my heart to finally meet him.

My original birth plan was to have a low intervention, natural, vaginal birth. You can imagine how a high intervention, pain-medicated, c-section was the literal opposite of the plan — but all in all, looking back I wouldn’t have done any of it differently. The most important thing is that we did everything we could to make the safest decisions for baby at every twist and turn — and boy were there a lot of twists and turns.

Four days ago, we welcomed Jet Joseph Ni to the world. He’s everything. I wish we could say it was smooth sailing after the birth, but alas the complications continued. Still, baby Jet was a champ through the subsequent around-the-clock monitoring, pricking, and prodding. I’m sad he had such a stressful first few days alive, but we are finally cleared for discharge and ready to head home!

Baby’s entrance into the world (warning: graphic and detailed):

Friday 5/3, 7:30am: Jeff and I headed out with our over-packed luggage for our stay at the hospital. Holding hands, we made a loop around the block, enjoying the fresh air and giving each other positive affirmations before heading in. I have only wonderful things to say about the UCSF facilities and experience. The labor room was extremely spacious and comfortable, and the staff was amazing, which made our stay very pleasant in an otherwise unpleasant situation.

Friday 5/3, 9:00am: I had my first cervical exam - not surprisingly, the cervix was not at all dilated and very hard. After walking through the induction process, we got hooked up to (1) a baby monitor and (2) a contraction monitor. Little did I know then that my eyes would be glued to the monitor screens later on as I tracked the hills and valleys of baby’s heart rate and my contractions. We then started on misoprostol, a drug to be administered every two hours for the next 12 hours, to start ripening the cervix.

Friday 5/3, 7:00pm: At this point, I am full of optimism and excitement. Jeff and I spent the entire day basically as if we were relaxing at home - watching TV, going on walks around the floor, video games for Jeff, and shopping for me. Then our evening takes a minor turn. The provider team walks in before what “should have been” my last dose of misoprostol. “Is it all right if we do another cervical exam? We want to check what progress has been made,” the midwife asked. I responded “Sure!”, excited to also know what was happening down there. Zero progress. My heart dropped for a moment then recovered. We decided to continue with the misoprostol overnight, and I quickly shifted back into my “let’s stay positive” mode.

Saturday 5/4, early morning: I’m a little groggy from the lack of sleep - a combination of woken up every 2 hours for my misoprostol dose and anticipation. The provider team walks in, and I’ve never been so excited for a vaginal exam. Surely, we must have made progress. And we did! A little tiny spec of progress and hope, but that was all I needed. The cervix has softened and dilated just barely. Next step: up the dosage of miso and insert it vaginally, rather than orally. On another positive note, another sign of labor progressing comes in as I’m starting to really feel contractions coming in stronger (pain level: 3, like the kind of menstrual cramps that make you cancel plans).

Saturday 5/4, afternoon: Jeff and I are still hopeful that we can deliver end of day. We joke about a “May the Fourth” Star Wars baby, and we are entirely optimistic. We get another cervical exam with positive news! My cervix is just dilated enough (about a finger width) that we can try another tactic for progressing labor: Foley balloon. A Foley balloon is a means to mechanically open the cervix; it’s inserted into the cervix then inflated to ~4cm in diameter, stretching out the cervix as it slowly expands to 4cm until the balloon “falls out.” We also start pitocin at this point, and the combination of the balloon and drugs takes the labor pain to a whole new level. Still, I’m able to power through with breath and meditation, and I’m feeling great about not needing pain medication yet.

Sunday 5/5, midnight: The Foley balloon was removed, and we are so thrilled for the progress — 4cm dilated! We increase the pitocin, and we think we will be having a Cinco de Mayo baby by this evening!

Sunday 5/5, midday: The main reason I haven’t opted for an epidural at this point is because baby hasn’t descended yet into the pelvis, and once I do an epidural, I won’t have use of my legs to walk around or get into positions to help him out. I bear through it, focusing on breathing. Our doula is here now and helps me breathe through. But the pain is overwhelming, and the contractions are getting to be a minute apart.

Sunday 5/5, afternoon: Then suddenly, 5 doctors/nurses rush into our room. The monitors are beeping in alert. Everyone’s talking too loud. I’m put onto a bed, hooked up to multiple IV fluids, and an oxygen mask falls over my face. The pain is too much now, and baby’s heart rate has dipped too low. I’m lightheaded and confused, and I see Jeff trying to hide his stress as he says “everything is fine” over and over. We try a couple things and finally baby’s heart rate returns to normal.

Sunday 5/5, early evening: Sometime in the fog of it, I finally gave in and got the epidural. Though baby still hasn’t descended, I’m not much use writhing in bed to help him into it anyways. As soon as it started to kick in, I thought - why the fuck didn’t I do this earlier?! I’m finally feeling better and able to talk when the care team comes back for another cervical exam. No progress. Despite everything I went through, despite all the pain, despite it all… we hadn’t progressed at all.

Sunday 5/5, late evening: We have to discuss next steps. The midwife and OB explain that breaking the bag is the best option. The biggest benefit: it will help kick off my body’s natural hormones and will help baby descend. The biggest risk: infection (though that risk would have been the same whether my bag broke naturally or not). We decide to move forward with that option. A few hours later, the doctors come in again and we’re so excited! We moved from 4 to 8cm and baby’s head had finally descended. We just need to sit and wait for full dilation.

Monday 5/6, 2am: I wake up with unbearable pain in my left side. I ask for a stronger epidural, which provides the relief I need. But then suddenly I start feverishly shaking. I’m convulsing uncontrollably, sweating through everything, and I want to throw up. Jeff is rubbing my back, holding my hand and helping to no avail. Then it all happened so quickly it feels like a blur — a huge team (the biggest one yet) rushes in. The beeping, the chaos, the bright lights like before but even more chaotic. The doctor is calling out the time “2 minutes… 2 minutes 30 seconds…”. Baby’s heart rate dropped again, and this time it wasn’t coming back up. I’m still in a haze convulsing as nurses manually move me from position to position. I look at Jeff, and he’s stunned but still trying to comfort me. Finally, it’s over. Baby’s heart rate returned, and I’ve stopped the shaking. The room clears out, and I’m left in tears being held by husband, talking to him through an oxygen mask.

Monday 5/6, 3am: The doctor comes in, and she says “you have an infection.” I feel my stomach turn, and in my heart I know that baby can’t take any more stress and we need to move forward with a c-section.

Monday 5/6, 3:51am: A blue cloth that had been draped over me during surgery is dropped, and see and hear a crying baby boy. I feel a smile wash over my face, and Jeff comes over with a little baby. Welcome, Jet Joseph Ni to the world. I’ve been waiting so long to meet you. I have loved you since before I’ve met you, and I love you a thousand times more now.

Monday 5/6-5/8: I wish I could say that everything was fine after that. I’m so glad we went with an early induction and the c section when we did. Those decisions were difficult but saved our baby. Jet was born hypoglycemic because of my gestational diabetes, and with concerning body temperature because of the infection. For the past few days, Jet has been getting around-the-clock monitoring and testing. I felt so bad that his first few days on this earth were so stressful, but we are finally cleared for discharge and ready to head home with our newest family member!